Strangest life I have ever known

I feel like I am being haunted. Haunted by the ghost that seeks my death , Haunted by the ghost of my past, Haunted by the ghosts that seek revenge. I know my time is coming. I feel as if I am being Haunted by the moon , Seeing my funeral , Watching my demons lie with me under the ground. Making love to the stars , Riding the smell that rises from my body fills my hands with sweat. I do not see myself nor do I think I ever did. Who has been living in this body for 30 years ? Who is Athena ? Who is Bella ? What do they share ? Who really knows them ? How many slaves do they have ? How many sheep's fallow them with clothing made by soul less humans ? Like plastic soldiers in A tiny desert. Who do you fallow ? Why do they fallow ? Why does anyone ? This world has no answers. Men & woman are A product of who can hurt who the most . Who wins out of this fight ? Why do they think if you fuck them you have to love them ? I rather love you then to touch you ! I wear you're dead hands scent on my body . It's like being lost in A world of pain & everyone is insane. Know one knows where to turn or where they will end up. People watch but don't listen, They carry on with sadness , They take you're name when you die and you suffer without pain. Was it worth the wait ? Did you enjoy the ride ? Are you glad to be everyone else? Lies are nothing but saying I love you. Life is A waste but we still live it and try to be the best we can be. I wonder what is waiting for us on the other side ? I have learned to shut off every emotion there is . I see all the sheep's and in wolves clothing crying for love. Hiding who they are just for A piece of the pie. And I am waking up every night with the man at he end of my bed wondering where he will take me next. As he stares at me with his black eyes does not say A word and keeps me close by him . Like A child's friend We belong together. I keep looking for answers and no matter what they will all just be lies. Strangest Life I have ever known.

Burlesque

I get asked all the time about Burlesque and how I got into it. Well it is not as easy as it looks and I still learn from others . I enjoy a lot of old school Burlesque performers , GYPSY ROSE LEE - She was born JANUARY 11th 1911 - APRIL 26th 1970. GYPSY ROSE LEE barley took off anything but had that style of I am all woman and her tease was wonderful. Also DIXIE EVENS - Born Mary Lee Evans in 1926, Dixie began her career doing some modeling and chorus parts in army touring shows. In the late 40's she also made some cheescake reels for nickel arcade shows. Her only mainstream movie credit was in "The Greatest Show on Earth" where she played a harem girl.

Dixie began her career in Burlesque at the El Rey theater in Oakland in 1952 and worked the Kane circuit and houses through Dayton, Cleveland, Chicago and Boston. Her 5 '5", 37-26-37 frame became a headliner in every major city in the US. Retiring in 1967 Dixie has been running Exotic World: The Strippers Hall of Fame and Museum, which she had taken over from her friend Jennie Lee.

I hope this has helped you a little bit . I make A career out of performing and I hope I always get better. I do not know how I got so big so fast , But I do know that I wanted to break out of some of the scenes and I wanted to make sure I was known all over . And some ladies do not want to break away from that and that is fine . I practice A lot and soon I will put out some home videos to help some of the ladies who write me practice Burlesque. My biggest problem that I am trying to fix right now is that I am known to be A fast performer and I am trying to slow it down a bit lol I get so caught up in the moment that I just can not wait to release the tease ! I am going to start writing more about Burlesque. I am tired of getting worked up over other crazy stuff ! So if you have any questions please feel free to email me at Bellapageburlesque@gmail.com

I lived !! Hahaha

So I ended up in the hospital A few days ago , Over heart problems and A panic attack. I am under so much stress and I guess it all caught up to me ! I am fine now . I asked the doctor if I was going to live and as soon as he said yes and told me what was wrong I got the hell out of there ! They wanted to keep me and if anyone knows me well " I fear hospitals !!! I do not like em at all ! And I refuse to go A lot when I really should ! I was getting many phone calls once news broke and I wanted to throw my cell out of the room ! After they got my heart back to beating normal I was ready to get out of there ! And out I was ! I have been under a lot of stress lately and I guess it all just build it and I let it go ! Almost fucking killed me ! Anyways one crying about that. So I have to write about this little thing that is biting at my leg ! Every time I turn around I am hearing how A ex boyfriend is writing about me or talking shit about me , Crying poor me poor me she was so mean ! Boooo!!!!!!!!!!!! I thought I had expressed what I felt and everything would be over ! Fuck I am so wrong !!!!! Okay I hate talking about this person " Thought of his name makes my skin crawl and vomit ! Everyone knows how I feel about this man ! I made A huge mistake going out with this guy ! So why does he continue to talk shit and cry to everyone ? What A fucking baby ! He is not even A man and I really mean that ! You can not help A helpless soul and I never met anyone like him and I do not mean that in A good way ! Every time I turn around it is something new ! He does not understand that some of his friends still talk to me . And I have told the ones that are letting me know his drama " That I do not care ! But somethings really get under my skin ! If you are that sad in you're life where you have to make people feel sorry for you just so you can get attention " Then get A rope and kick the fucking chair ! Or wake up and do something about you're self ! Why sit around and make people feel sorry for you and blame everyone else for the way you are ? It makes no sense to me ! I felt bad for this guy even after what he pulled and it was bad ! And I still wished him the best , But after hearing everything and blah blah blah ...... I was fed up and so sick that I would have offed myself but I am too much of A bitch to give my haters A smile ! It's like he is raping me with his words and they are not true ! Maybe some of the things are but not the shit I heard ! This man has went so far to tell me he was trap by his wife with A child . Hmmmm.... I do not believe that one bit ! She told me the story on how he begged her to have his child and he did the same to me and he will say the same thing to the next girl. That is just how he works and that's all he knows. He has been with his wife for 10 years and How she has put up with his lies is beyond me . I played A big part in his life and I think his wife is fucked up just like him. Talking to her on the phone all those times made my head spin . I got sick after it. I have been through my share of fucked up guys and he is the worst ! He acts very normal when you first meet him and you really do not get to know him till you live with him. Now I will admit I am A fucked up girl and I am in know way shape or form to say I am normal, So for me to say he is bad means he is bad ! I tried to have him break away and stand on his own without his parents help and to show them he can do it ! And I was so wrong ! He will live off you and soak up all you're energy ! I was A wreck with him and I knew pretty early I could not trust him ! He would have his parents get on the phone and tell me that him and his wife are not together and he even told me she was gay and I thought it was true ! Anyone that is A ATM for him he will keep around and I would not be that. He told me things that I knew no one knew ! I know his wife did not even know some of his secrets and she was with him for 10 years ! So that right there told me that We both was living with A stranger and we both did not know who he was ! He would write shit on paper on how he wanted me to have everything if he died and I was his soul mate and the love of his life and the whole time I knew the truth and I knew he was full of shit ! He thinks he is this big rock star and no one knows who he is. I tried to help him and all he wanted was pills that is all and that is the reason he stays where he is at is cause he is scared to leave the nest and I told him you have to get away to let the world hear you're music and get you're head together . I had him where he wanted to get off the drugs and stay clean and he was looking so much better , Everyone said it ! It was like he had something to live for . Before he didn't . His family does not care that he is eating pills like crazy and drinking whiskey at the same time and walking around like A zombie. And he would write letters to me while he was sitting in the room with me telling me he did not want to talk to his family and that he hated his wife for having a child without asking him and I would tell him to contact these people and tell them how he feels and talk to them and he would not ! He would tell me to do it and I did not feel right doing that . He would tell me things about his past and I would feel sorry for him knowing my past was worse but I still felt bad for him. Now I do not know if some of it is true . But I do know his wife let out A lot of things to me and I could not believe I brought this man to my family's home. He still keeps A picture me in his wallet for what I have been told. There was times that I was worried if he was going to come home and catch him with A man or A woman, Cause that is how he is . He wanted to not be A father at all and I did not know if I could trust A man who walks away from his child. I would ask him why he does not want to be A father to his child but he begged me to have one by him ! I have it writing down from him how much he wanted a child from me . Thank god I used my brain as soon as i did !!! But he would tell me how he knew he was going to walk out of her life someday. And I thought wow what kind of man would do that ? And I would ask him all the time are you sure you want to do that ? And it was all for the fact he didn't want to pay for her and He wants to be A rock star and not a father . He over and over has said to me and others that he blames the child and the mother for ruining his music and his life and he also wrote that down in a book that my mother has . He also told me that he knows that there is Another child of his out there from another woman. Right there I thought omg I have to get away from this guy. I thought everyday how did I get mixed up with him and I would tell him to leave and go home where he belongs. We was not good for each other and I knew that from the start. It was like he wanted to live in my world and Ya I have friends in high places with music and whatever and He was just A mess. I did not want to give up on him , I felt that everyone else did give up on him and I was the only one who knew his fears and watched him cry and hurt. He told me I was the only one he has ever opened up to cause I knew where he was coming from . The first day I was with him " He was in A room at A friends house in there kids room cutting himself up and writing on paper with his blood , THAT HE LOVES ME FOREVER WITH MY NAME . I saw that and to tell you the truth it was kind of A turn on at first and then after I saw my name carved in him in more then 2 places on his body I was worried. I did not know how to handle him ! He was always love me love me and I did try to leave the first week I was with him , I got A plane ticket and he begged me to stay , Telling his father he could not let me go. I really wish I would have left then. It would have saved him and I a lot of trouble and not going through the hell the the future was on it's way to bring. When we was finally over I knew I had to put myself back together and make a decision in my life that was hard for me to do but I had to do it . Sometimes it is hard for me to forget but I am A tuff lady and I feel I can overcome anything ! I am strong . And my family and friends who know me best can say I have been through straight hell and back and back again. There is nothing I have not seen or done really. I am not proud of my past but I do not hide it . Someday I will come face to face with my past and I think that is when the book comes out. I have people who write me A few times A month and ask me if my life is true and was I hooked on Heroin half my teenage years and part of my 20's ? And I do not lie to them , I tell them the truth and that is what makes me real. I do not really have A choice " There are people from my past that are starting to speak out even if it is the truth or lies. So why life if someone ask me something about my past ? That part of my life is so over ! But I feel very strongly that the music sucks these days and if you have what it takes to change it and the talent and you make good music ? Then why waste it ? Get the fuck out there ! If you wait and sit around for someone else to do it , You will never get any no where . You're A waste ! I do not listen to the radio at all ! But the weird thing about that is that Dj's know that but they still ask for me to give interviews . Funny !!!!! I mean I can have some kind of respect some of the artist that are out now , Do not get me wrong , But this is my opinion , Does not mean everyone has to think how I think ! I am just so done with all the he said she said shit. If anyone could come out with any proof of what they say about me I would be more then happier to say yup that is true. Other then that if you think you're over me you're not and if you think you can forget about me you wont. So what more can I say ? I could really be evil and let out all of the bullshit . But I do not want to do that ! I do not get off on ruining peoples lives, I just don't ! I have to tell close friends of mine not to attack this person or these people or whatever. It wont solve anything ! I guess that is why I write on here to get it all out ! I do not care who reads it or if anyone reads this . Just as long as I get it out and it makes me feel better that is all that matters ! I am A fucking human being and we all make fucking mistakes ! Some of us learn from them and some of us just keep feeding off of them and making more mistakes. I am 30 years old I am not the same girl I used to be ! I used to not care at all who I hurt ! I would come up to you if you was starting shit with me and just beat the shit out you ! Did not care where we would be at or who it was in front of . I was A fucking bad girl and I mean one of the worst ! And it was sad ! I did not like that person at all ! But I was not going to be walked on ! You was going to know what I could or would do to you ! I was very scary to date and be friends with ! And that girl is gone now and I want to keep it that way ! Yes I have A temper and I try my best to control it and I think I have done A good job ! I finally decided I have to grow up and stop all the bullshit ! And it is like there are some people out there that want me to go back to that awful girl and I am fighting myself ! And that is why I had A panic attack ! If you are doing better then them and they know that ? the haters will try to bring you down as best as they can ! And what they do not understand is that they are doing you A favor ! People are always interested in the trouble and the bad ones ! Know one wants to here about A good girl . And they also show how badly there are fucking stalkers 1 Going on myspace and searching profiles of you're Haters or exes is just down right creepy ! I think looking to date someone is creepy on myspace. You never know what the fuck you are going to meet. Myspace is not real life ! If you have something to say then say it to there face ! Hello !!! Why do people fight on that site ? All you're doing is sitting behind A computer getting more upset ! Fuck that I rather be in you're face ! At least you know it is coming from my mouth ! You can hear me ! For me blogging gets everything out that I want to say ! And if you think it is about you then maybe you are doing something wrong and you know it ! If it walks like A duck , Talks like A duck then it is A duck ! If you do not like what I am saying then do not read it ! It is that simple !

I might be A bitch, But I speak the truth !

So far 2010 has been okay, No stupid little girls writing stupid stuff or calling on the phone ! Maybe they got the hint or maybe they found other drama . That would not be shocking ! And no ex boyfriends drama ! I think I might be in the clear lol . Or maybe they just finally understood that there life was worth something and they would hate to loose it . Anyway it is nice and peaceful. I have been trouble sleeping and can not seem to get to sleep till 3am and it really sucks ! I have been having trouble breathing for A few months and it seems to be getting worse. But I am not the kind of girl who sits around and cries about my body. I guess I am mean in that way. I am not the kind of girl who sites around and feels sorry for myself, I rather die then to that ! I my as well listen to tool and become A razor blade freak. Some of us was talking A couple of days ago and the band Tool popped up in the conversation and this is my opinion and I hate Tool ! Every song sounds the same it is not even fucking music to me ! It sounds like A bunch shit that got put together and took no creative time. Now this is my opinion and not everyone has to like the same music. It's just like on youtube " People put up videos and you will see people go on them and fight for the fact everyone thinks there opinion should matter to everyone and everyone of them thinks there right ! Well got news for you ready ? KNOW ONE FUCKING CARES ! Within ten years a lot of those bands wont even matter. The music today is A bunch of money making bullshit ! MTV is crack for the brain. The poor kids today have no idea what it is like to hear real music . To me if you do not write you're own music then what makes you think you are A true musician? Kids live by the music and if you do not write it then you are a lie and you lie to other kids and nothing you say in you're music is real. Just cause you got A voice does not mean you know how to use it ! Again this is my opinion and this is how I feel ! American Idol is the worst thing to almost ever happen in my opinion , Nothing like being A sheep eh ? I hate when people are so creative and they let others tell them what to do or say. This is life and you only live once so give it everything you got ! You know I am A popular or whatever Burlesque performer and I have been around A long time and saw a lot of things at a early age and If I was not so interesting then there would not be a book coming out on me . And I do not understand when people think woman like me should not speak there opinion. I have always been open about the band members that I have dated and drug use and living around the world and whatever and I do not ever let anyone tell me what to do or what to say. Now I have heard stories about me and I just laugh and think wow wtf is wrong with people ? I have the highest youtube burlesque video of las vegas on youtube that I know of right now. I have struggled with myself and others to become A human being And I still get lies told on me and what not and it makes me sick sometimes but I know that there are some jealous females out there and maybe one or two performers that have it out for me . But it makes no sense for the fact I do not hide the dirt on me I will tell you if you ask about my life I have nothing to hide like others . So why waste you're breath ? I was told by many others that if people are talking about you all the time then it means you have reached popular status like a fucking rock star or something . Well I am not A fucking rock star but i am BELLA PAGE, And I have had my name for many years and I saw lately that other woman use my name , I should take legal action . I am like my many and hated by few and I do not care !wasting you're breath on me is worthless to me and and for what thrills it may bring them is fucking clueless to me ! I am one of the most talked about burlesque performers in las vegas and I really do not know why ? But when they figure it out maybe they will let me know ! Till then I guess I just keep on smiling !

Hmm.....

I always ask myself if I am living the life I have always dreamed of or wanted ? Hahaha.. Boy what A tuff question ! Sometimes I wonder how am I still breathing and still here ? Everything I have done in my life has been one roller coaster after another and I seem to never learn ! This world is evil and maybe that is why I am still living in it. I enjoy living in moments and doing what I want ! I think that if you want to do something then do it or if you want something ' get it ! And if you got something to say then say it ! Of course I didn't live by that one rule for A min as you can see from my last blog. What gives people the right to judge ? What makes them so special that they have to make them self's better by cutting others down ? Who is perfect in this world ? I know I am far from perfect too far from perfect. I am only human and I breath the same air and nothing in my life is simple or perfect and sometimes I choose for it to be that way ! Just like when things go wrong in you're life you can really tell who you're friends are. For A example " When a boyfriend and I broke up and I found out that 4 females who used to be friends of mine , Two of them decided they was going to try to sleep with him , The other 2 are just drama queens that have nothing better to do then sit on A computer and make up rumors " And truly think they are better then others and like to cut others down. And A few of us have got together and talked about these ladies , We all figured we have the right to ask these questions ? One female is in porn and just can not stop her lies and gossip about how others being so bad but she is A angel and everyone is shit compared to her . The other female is A mess and really needs to get herself some help and A free clinic for A fact , this comes out of her own mouth so that is sure not A rumor " And at onetime i called her A friend not knowing how bad she wanted my long time boyfriend and I never would have guessed the things I heard coming back to him that has come out of all of these so called friends mouths . Now the other one oh my where do I start. She just wants to start trouble and just having A child over A year ago , You would think being A mother would come first instead of making threats on myspace knowing she is looking like A jackass and that she is as stupid as they come. This little red head was A friend of mine who I stuck up for like half of them who was always being picked on and known as vegas trash. I myself would give them the chance that no one wanted to give them cause of all the trouble they would start. I guess I got played and I will know next time when half of A town warns me to be aware of the drama queens of LAS VEGAS. I can not understand how I was so blind and did not see that 2 of the girls or wait 3 that I have heard of had such A bad crush on my guy ! I was shocked ! And the one has A boyfriend and they are getting married ! Now the red head I was kinda little like wow but she does want a psychobilly or A rockabilly guy and will take anyone of them just to have one ! She is known to be A scene girl. This one wrote me in Oct talking shit out of no where about my man and her, Like they was some couple " Just being A stalker really bad. Saying off the wall shit that made no sense . He told me he ran from her that she was about him and he did not want her at all ! He don't even have her phone number. He thought she was a nut and We have been told by A couple other men that she get's that way even if you say hi to her. My man does not not like woman who get passed around with no respect for there own lives . And at one time she enjoyed getting passed to who ever wanted her . (POOR THANG) I guess I really did not know who my friends was. Now the other one is the whore of LAS VEGAS , I mean fuck how many bathroom walls can you have you're name up on that you had sex with them there ! But I knew how she was and I did not judge her. I took her in as A friend and I would invite her over for dinner ! I even stuck up for her in fights she would cause. Every one said she is bad news you will see she is truly bad ! But I thought she was so sweet and I was there for her when she needed A friend. I guess after almost 2 years I was finally seeing what everyone was talking about ! She has done so much to so many people that finally a girl in july had anuff of her and just beat her ass at A bar ! She has pushed away all her close friends and traded them in for females that are just as bad as her. We protected her one night and my guy had A bottle smashed on his head and she ran like A bitch. What A friend eh ?? And what kind of chick is proud to have A STD ? And tells everyone like it is A everyday thing ? And does nothing about it ? But keeps sleeping around ! That is some scary shit ! And when I came back to vegas that was all I heard about " It scared me so bad that I would not go to the bathroom where my guy was living at the time for the fact that I was afraid cause she had been there. And when 8 or more people would tell me she is at the bar bragging about the STD drunk and still sleeping with more then 3 different guys A week. Then we get A phone call by someone who was active with her and yells at us why did we not tell him. Well " What can we say ? People are grown you can't control others actions. If you are in A rockabilly or psychobilly band or not you are A target for her. And thank god more people are telling others to be careful ! This is not A joke it is A issue that is affected people I know and it's something you should not brag about but take care of ! and be silent about it and protect you're self. So when I found out about this I had A long talk with my guy and he swears he would never touch her and that she was nuts and would not leave him alone ! And I know it was true cause the day I got back to vegas she called him 10 times in in 8 mins and we counted ! She went crazy when I came back, her and the other one . Now if you are wondering why I am writing this out ? Well every time we turn around there are threats from the girls and shit talking and emails and we have kept quiet. I have tried to ignore these crazy bitches as best as I can And A few others are starting to lash out on them too ! So thank god it is not just me but a full gang of girls and men. And I am glad I am not some of these drama queens for the fact I have read some crazy stuff and there names are out on it. I wont do that " Do not need to do that most people know who I am talking about . I have saw myspace stuff on them and a website on 2 of them and I am just shocked that they have made that many people hate them to the fullest ! I have saw some girls plan out things for viva weekend for one of them for something she did like A year ago. I am glad my burlesque troop kicked this girl out ! We did not really have A choice , She went crazy on A band at A show and was thrown out and made her self look like a animal in heat . We all was ashamed of her and had a meeting in that hour to get rid of her for good ! this was not the first time . It is like taken A animal out with no leash < I have saw dogs act better then her! That is how bad she is and many , many , many others will tell you the same ! We tried to help her and she just does not care. She has no respect for herself of others for that matter. she will talk about you like you are just a dog then turn around and smile right in you're face! I know I saw her do it many of times ! People 's skin crawl when she walks in the door they know she is about to start trouble ! And who wants to go to A show where some drunk female is being a complete psycho bitch and not in A good way and starts yelling and screaming at bands and other females for nothing ? Who wants that ! I was one of those fools many of us was ! and who ever is with her she make's them look like A fool. I know I have saw it ! I really would wish she would get help before it is too late. So I can now understand others opinions on some of these ladies and now I know why they stay clear of these ladies. I feel bad for them still ! They are so unhappy with there lives that they try to hurt others and they do not care. They think they are perfect and everyone else is worth nothing. All that comes out of there mouths are lies and I have the proof of those lies and I am finally going to stick up for myself my friends and my guy ! Cause none of us people deserve what these 4 ladies has said or are doing or have done. And if it makes me a bad person then oh well I have full right to express the truth ! I have took the abuse way to long all the threats the phone calls the stalking is finally going to end and thank god over 40 others feel the same ! So please understand this is not bashing or shit talking this is the truth and i have let it go on too far ! for months this has been a issue and the more you ignore the more they start. I have saw 4 year old's who act better. My life has been privet for a reason and how they think my life revolves around them is beyond me ! and the stories they make up are insane ! I mean they are some whoppers ! None of them no the real me and none of them no my guy that is for a fact ! I have only met A hand full that really knows him and they are not from LAS VEGAS !He is from Germany and I know these 4 girls have nothing better to do then live in there own fantasies that maybe one day he will be there's ! Some kind of friends right ? I hope these girls get there act together ! Man it feels good to let this out !

Thank you

2010

As I sit here wondering what 2010 has in store for me . Performing or modeling and a book coming out on me, I wonder sometimes if I would have changed anything in my past. To answer that is A no or maybe not . I have had a ruff 2009 like a lot people have I am sure of it, And I wonder how I got through some of the things. For one " Dealing with breakups and ex boyfriends not letting go is one of them and the other is some of the crazy females who think they live under my bed. What A joke to think that some of these people know me ? Is just crazy as ever ! I have A lot to say and I refuse to do it on myspace. I do not even have A myspace no more ! I can not keep up with it lol. So I am going to get this out of the way before it kill's me ! Just cause you say you love someone does not mean it is true or that you have to love them forever. where is the rule on that ? I believe if you break up with someone and you both are truly done with each other then there is no more words to say. So why do I keep hearing about A ex boyfriend of mine making up lies and telling nice bedtime stories on A myspace blog? Hmm.... I know he has no life and no morels in anyway at all " And likes to blame everyone for his actions and claim poor him all the time to anyone who will listen. Why do people do that ? What do they get out of it ? Life is never fair but you get over it and move on. Simple as that. So I have decided to start blogging what I feel and get it out since the rumors are live and well. I will speak the truth and maybe mouth's will be shut. Yes I got with this person In Aug and I thought he was the missing other of me and I was wrong ! I learned he had some dark secrets that I was not prepared for. Some I could have under stood and some was very scary ! I lived on edge for 2 months I did not know if I was coming or going half the time and I became this whole other person that I did not like ! He had problems that I could not handle or help and I tried but his lies would not let me. It was like torture to me ! I never trusted him and he was my way out of some of the things I was going through. The man has no clue on what life is or where he is going and I met junkies that had more of A chance. His life means nothing to him so I do not know why I thought I could help him , He did not want to help himself. I really do not see this man living long . He just does not care and it is sad " He is A good musician I give him that. But he will use and lie to people to get what he wants or needs and I saw through that right away ! I could have got him gigs but I knew it would be A train wreck and so why try ? I never got sleep he would keep me up crying and just words can not explain how bad it was. I have never let any of this out but after all I have been hearing and reading " I am telling it all and this is the truth. I could not go to work and if I did He would get me out of work saying he needed A hospital for nothing ! He never worked he has no money , He sells himself short and it's so sad. This is A man who lives off pills that he does not need and drinks like A fish and brags about it like he is some kinda rock star ! People die everyday from this shit it is not joke. Anyways the man is married and has been for 5 years to A woman who I feel bad for and thought they was no longer together till him and I broke up and her and I spoke not only once but more times . We both was shocked to learn the things we new about him. She told me stories and I told her what I knew. you would think we was talking about A whole other person. She told me things that just shocked me and I told her things that shocked her . It was scary to know I once had this man in my home and in my life and he is A walking lie ! I knew him as this man who was in need of love and need to be taken care of and I used to watch him write stories down about me on how much he loved me and he cut his self and in graved my name in his arm and leg and has my name tattooed on him. That he blames me for but does not say how he begged to marry me that night in front of everyone that night before the tattoo . Or how he talk's about using woman to get from town to town , State to state and that is fine let them handle him. I just thought and so do others that it is my turn to tell my side of the story, Since I have kept my mouth shut and let him and his buddy tell the rumors that are so not true but kind of funny and A little out there ! So I hope this answers some of the questions I get. Thanks for reading

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